Talking Turkey: Tales of Horror from 'Round the Dinner Table

There was the year I forgot to take the turkey out of the freezer. The time a slightly odd uncle yanked my mother-in-law's hair. And then there was the day of the flying turkey ...

My mother, a bit of a perfectionist, was the Thanksgiving hostess that year. She was momentarily alone in the kitchen when I heard her gasp. None of the other chattering relatives seemed to notice.

I slipped into the kitchen and beheld the beautifully browned turkey upside down on the kitchen floor, leaking bits of savory stuffing everywhere. Somewhere between roasting pan and platter, the turkey — perhaps disgruntled by its Thanksgiving fate — took a dive.

Mom, with a proper regard for hygiene, was prepared to discard the turkey, stuffing and all, and substitute a non-traditional emergency entree. I had no such qualms.

I gently pushed my mother out the kitchen door and restored the dusted-off turkey to a place of glory on its platter, complete with handfuls of salvaged stuffing. Moments later it was lying in state on the dining table, ready for carving.

No one complained of tummy troubles later. And neither Mom nor I ever told.

Do you have a tale of Thanksgiving trauma? Share it in the comments section below. I promise not to tell ...