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Two-Point Deduction in a 30-Day Cycle

"After about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate." - Mel Gibson, divorcée.

As predicted, I've pretty much been glued to the TV watching the 2012 Olympics and I'm loving every second of it! 

So much so that when my husband and I had a little tiff a few days ago, I critiqued it like a gymnastics judge in my head. He was criticizing the way I handled a situation with my 13-year-old. For the argument, my husband got a combined score of eight. I’ll break it down for you: 

The topic was fairly sensitive, so for difficulty he got a four. But I felt that his technique and style lacked tact and left me feeling cold and, well, murderous. So for execution, he only received a two. 

Seeing as how I was on day 28 of a 30-day cycle, he gains two points for, um, we’ll call that a technicality.

But considering that this same “technicality” happens once a month, every month, and we’ve been married for 14 years, I feel he should know by now not to criticize anything I do the first week of the month. I keep a calendar so I know when to avoid human interaction and I feel it’s high time he keet one as to know when he should avoid me. Two point deduction!

Appeal! Am I not simply judging the technicality and not the argument itself? Focus woman! Two points awarded back to Team Husband.

Whoa Nelly! It’s not like I enjoy acting psychotic once a month, I can’t help it. If everyone suddenly knew they were going to get the flu for one full week out of a month, forever, it’s not like we’d all look forward to it with glee. We would dread it and, newsflash, we’d probably be a little grouchy. So this “technicality” is totally valid and should be taken into consideration by both parties. Two points back to Team Wife!

Though this all seems completely rational to me at the time, I know I will eventually lose this argument, and side argument, that I am having entirely in my head. I am still furious at my husband for questioning my parenting skills in any way, shape or form, but I now remember that we have chocolate ice cream in the freezer and all I care about now is shoving my face in it.

Sigh, two reluctant points back to the H-Team.

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