Bringing the War Home

Patch's Carol Parker spoke with three Alameda mothers whose soldier sons have served in Iraq and Afghanistan. Here is the first of their stories. Look for parts II and III later this week.

Renee Kellogg’s son Ryan was 20 when he announced he wanted to join the U.S. Army. The next four years, Renee said, would turn out to be the hardest of her life.

Ryan is back from Iraq and living a civilian life since May, though he is still serving in the National Guard. His 13-month deployment to Iraq was not easy for his Alameda loved ones.  

His family is well known in town. Renee owns and is prominent in the local business community. She is married to former Alameda Chief of Police Bernie Matthews and her father, Dick Kellogg, perhaps best known of them all, has cut generations of Islanders' hair at his barbershop.

Ryan grew up in Alameda and attended . Renee Kellogg said she is extremely proud of her son, but found his going off to war gut-wrenching.

“I didn’t particularly believe in the war, but I believed in my son,” Renee said.

She said his year in Iraq and time he spent in the demilitarized zone of Korea were the most nerve-wracking of all.

“I had to stop turning on the news. I just could not bear to watch. We had very little communication at times. There was no cell phone or Internet. I was lucky to get a once-a-month call from him. When he did call the conversation had to be kept light because of people listening on the line.”

Renee focused on what she could control about the situation and put her energy into gathering items to mail in care packages to Ryan and his fellow soldiers. She even sent them an artificial Christmas tree and ornaments.

“It was pretty depressing at times. I cried every holiday and on his birthday,” Renee said, "but fortunately I got involved with a local charity that supports the troops called Operation Mom. It helped me feel like I was doing something. It lifted my spirits.” 

Grateful to have her son home safely now, Renee said in 2012 she will continue to spread the word about Operation Mom and now also plans to find a veterans' organization to support.

She said although Ryan was fortunate to have come back to the same job with a local trucking company he left behind before he joined the army, other veterans are not so lucky.

“I am very concerned about what the veterans will be coming home to and all the problems they are coming back with,” Renee said.

Her own son’s adjustment back to civilian life was not without its problems, she said.

“He is much better now, but he is a changed person because of what he went through,” she said.

Upon coming home from the war Ryan lived with Kellogg and Matthews for a while in their west end home near the water. “One night in the middle of the night we heard a helicopter over head,” recalled Renee, “and Ryan became very alarmed by it.”

Having lived “on edge” in battle zones, Renee explained, the soldiers sometimes find it hard to function when they return home. They can be easily startled by loud noises and overly suspicious about normal gestures or movements, she said.

Renee credits her husband, Bernie, with his decades of police experience, in helping Ryan cope upon his return.  

“Ryan lost one of his good buddies in the war,” said Renee, “He would say to me, ‘Mom I can’t tell you what I’ve been through’”.  But, Bernie, she said, could more easily talk to him and help him process what he had experienced.

Renee said she hopes the public will remember the soldiers who continue to serve and veterans who have returned home.

“The fact is,” she said, “half of Americans have not been personally touched by these wars. It has been very easy for people to forget about those who fought them.”

The U.S.O. along with the White House is promoting Joining Forces – Taking Action To Support Military Families, as a way for citizens to send their thanks to the troops and help those coming home and continuing to serve around the world. You can read about it here. You can read more about Operation Mom, founded in Castro Valley, and its continuing local efforts to support U.S. troops here.

Tomorrow: An Alameda woman whose identical twin sons fought in Afghanistan together, shares her relief knowing they are still alive.